Cell Block Tango
by Magic Detective
Summary: My version of Chicago's Cell Block Tango: Ace Attorney Style.


Alita Tiala: Pop.

Dahlia Hawthorne: Six.

Mimi Miney: Squish.

Dee Vasquez: Uh-huh.

Cammey Melee: Tokyo.

Calisto Yew: Faraday.

Alita: Pop.

Dahlia: Six.

Mimi: Squish.

Dee: Uh-huh.

Cammey: Tokyo.

Calisto: Faraday.

Me: Now, welcome to a special performance of Chicago's "Cell Block Tango", by the Ace Attorney murderesses!

Alita: Pop.

Dahlia: Six.

Mimi: Squish.

Dee: Uh-huh.

Cammey: Tokyo.

Calisto: Faraday.

Alita: Pop.

Dahlia: Six.

Mimi: Squish.

Dee: Uh-huh.

Cammey: Tokyo.

Calisto: Faraday.

Alita: Pop.

Dahlia: Six.

Mimi: Squish.

Dee: Uh-huh.

Cammey: Tokyo.

Calisto: Faraday.

Alita: Pop.

Dahlia: Six.

Mimi: Squish.

Dee: Uh-huh.

Cammey: Tokyo.

Calisto: Faraday.

All: He had it coming. He had it coming. He only had himself to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it

Cammey: I betcha you would've done the same!

Alita: Pop.

Dahlia: Six.

Mimi: Squish.

Dee: Uh-huh.

Cammey: Tokyo.

Calisto: Faraday.

Alita: Pop.

Dahlia: Six.

Mimi: Squish.

Dee: Uh-huh.

Cammey: Tokyo.

Calisto: Faraday.

Alita: You know how people have these little habits that get you down. Like Wocky. Wocky likes to chew gum. No, not chew. POP. So I came home this one day, and I am really irritated, and looking for a little sympathy and there's Wocky layin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'. No, not chewin'. Poppin'. So, I said to him, "You pop that gum one more time..." and he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots... into his head.

All: He had it coming. He had it coming. He only had himself to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it, I betcha you would've done the same!

Dahlia: I met Doug young at my college about two years ago and he told me he was single and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner. And then I found out, "Single" he told me? Single, my ass. Not only was he married... oh, no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know. So that night, when he came home, I fixed him his drink as usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic.

All: He had it coming. He had it coming. He took a flower in its prime, and then he used it and he abused it. It was a murder, but not a crime!

Mimi: Now, I'm in the operating room, about to hand over a scapel, when I heard a tiny squish. And in storms my husband Turner, in a jealous rage. "You been screwin' the surgeon," he says. He was crazy and he kept screamin', "you been screwin the surgeon." And then he ran into the scapel. He ran into the scapel ten times!

All: If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I betcha you would have done the same!

Dee: Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok, hogy a hires lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja Uncle Sam hogy en tettem. Probaltam a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg...

Mimi: But did you do it?

Dee: Uh-huh. I'm guilty!

Cammey: My friend, Rhonda and I worked on a plane and my husband, Akeby, used to travel round with us. Now, for our flights, we went to several different countries in a row. One, two, three, four, five...Egypt, Mongolia, Mexico, China, one right after the other. So this one night before the flight we're down in Tokyo, the three of us, boozin', havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice, so I go out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's Rhonda and Akeby doing Number Seventeen: the spread eagle. Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead.

Cammey: They had it coming

Girls: They had it coming

Cammey: They had it coming

Girls: They had it coming

Cammey: They had it coming all along

Girls: All along

Cammey: I didn't do it

Girls: She didn't do it

Cammey: But if I'd done it

Girls: But if she'd done it

Cammey: How could you tell me that was wrong?

Cammey: They had it coming

Girls: They had it coming

Cammey: They had it coming

Girls: They had it coming

Cammey: They had it coming

Girls: They took a flower

Cammey: All along

Girls: In its prime

Cammey: I didn't do it

Girls: And then they used it

Cammey: But if I'd done it, how could you tell me that I was wrong?

Calisto: I loved Byrne Faraday more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy... sensitive... a lawyer. But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way he found Lauren, Amelia, Luna, and Alexis. I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead.

All: The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, the dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

Group 1: They had it comin'

Group 2: They had it comin'

Group 1: They had it comin'

Group 2: They had it comin'

Group 1: They had it comin'

Group 2: They had it comin'

Group 1: All along

Group 2: All along

Group 1: 'Cause if they used us

Group 2: 'Cause if they used us

Group 1: And they abused us

Group 2: And they abused us

All: How could you tell us that we were wrong?

Group 1: He had it coming

Group 2: He had it coming

Group 1: He only had himself to blame.

Group 2: He only had himself to blame.

Group 1: If you'd have been there

Group 2: If you'd have been there

Group 1: If you'd have seen it

Group 2: If you'd have seen it

All: I betcha you would have done the same!

Alita: You pop that gum one more time...

Dahlia: Single my ass...

Mimi: Ten times...

Dee: Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe...

Cammey: Number Seventeen: the spread eagle...

Calisto: Artistic differences...

Alita: Pop.

Dahlia: Six.

Mimi: Squish.

Dee: Uh-huh.

Cammey: Tokyo.

Calisto: Faraday.


End file.
